Donovan McNabb On Michael Vick's Debut - The Crying Game?

By The Computer Guru

OpenlineATL

Finally, after two years off the field, quarterback Michael Vick got a chance to get back to work making his pre-season debut for the Philadelphia Eagles.

First - the good news:

• The Eagles won the warm-up game 33-32 against the Jacksonville Jaguars.
• Michael Vick was treated to a standing ovation when he took the field - two minutes into the game!
• While there is still a bunch of work to be done, the Vick formations clearly confused the Jaguars

Now - the bad news:

• Apparently, Donovan McNabb had no idea Vick would play that early into the game.
• Vick was shown on the sidelines making throat cutting signals to get Vick OUT of the game.
• The post game comments indicated McNabb was NOT a happy camper!

Folks, this is pre-season! Was McNabb jealous of the standing ovation - already?

I'm on record saying I don't like the Eagles fans, but on this night I have to give the Eagle's fans a plus and McNabb a big fat zero!

Please grow up Donovan and be careful what you wish for...

Brett Favre Theme Song - Giving Green Bay the "SHAFT"

By The Computer Guru

OpenlineATL

While listening to yet another never ending Brett Favre segment on ESPN, it occurred to me that the Favre worshipers have turned him into some kind of super hero. Yet there are many of us who are tired of this story and wish it would go away. Unfortunately, it won't!

Since we will be treated to at least one more year of Brett in a Minnesota Vikings uniform, I thought the folks in Green Bay could use an anti-Brett Favre song.

The late and great Issac Hayes created a super PI named Shaft (played by Richard Roundtree in the 1970's). The famous album by the same name was used for the soundtrack. Since "shaft" is also what Brett's trying to give to Green Bay - the song is perfect for a re-make using Brett Favre.

The updated lyrics are included below. Enjoy!

Favre! (Sing to the tune of Shaft)

Who's that man in Purple and Gold he can't admit he's just too old, (Favre!) You're damn right! Who is the man that will throw a pic to the other man? (Favre!) Did you see it? Who's the cat that just won't quit even though he plays like shit (Favre!) Right on You see this cat Favre is a sorry mother- (Shut your mouth) But I'm talkin' about Favre (Then we can dig it!) He's a very selfish man and no one else can stand him but his mother. (Brett Favre!)

Michael Jackson's Cause of Death Leaked

By The Computer Guru

OpenlineATL

Two months ago we learned of the death of Michael Jackson. His funeral should have provided some closure - it didn't! Now we find the cause of Michael's death - thanks to a leaked search warrant.

Apparently Michael Jackson's personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, had been treating Michael for insomnia weeks before his death. When he wasn't administering a powerful surgical sedative Propofol, he was giving Michael many other drugs to help him sleep - Valium, Lorazempam and Midazolam to name a few. Another source claims the coroner is ruling Michael's death a homicide.

What does this mean when it comes to closure? It means that Dr. Conrad Murray, will have lots more explaining to do. It also means that more leaked court documents, additional speculation and another criminal trial will drag this on for a while.

As a fan of Michael Jackson "the artist", it is sad that he spent most of his life altering his appearance and fighting child molestation allegations. When he wasn't involved in either activity he was spaced out on drugs. It does make you wonder how much more of his musical genius we never got to see or hear because of his mental and physical deterioration over the last decade.

The Dallas Cowboys - Life Without T.O. In The New Stadium

By The Computer Guru

OpenlineATL

The Dallas Cowboys of 2009 have had one pre-season disaster at Oakland and one decent game against the Titans. As expected, all the T.O. haters and the Dallas "homer" media outlets (1380 the Ticket in Dallas) seem ready to predict a successful 2009 season extending into the playoffs in 2010. The new "Jerry Jones Roman Coliseum" is a high tech "over the top" masterpiece - in spite of the ridiculous HDTV monster hanging in the middle of the field. Terrell Owens is gone and now all is right with the Boys - right? Wrong!!!

What is absolutely incredible to me is how the coaching staff got such a pass after last season's disaster in Philadelphia! The fact is that Cowboys are no closer to a Super Bowl than they were under the hapless Dave Campo years. Here are the top five reasons that the Cowboys will continue to under-achieve as a team and an organization:

1. Jerry Jones cares more about style than substance. He would rather have a semi-literate spineless puppet as a head coach than one who is capable of motivating players to win when games really matter.


2. Speaking of "semi-literate spineless puppets" - Wade Philips is second only to his dad in learning how to lose in the playoffs. That is all he's ever done and he's damn good at it! His teams have no motivation or discipline and they play just like it.


3. Tony Romo is as talented a quarterback as Dallas has ever had. Unfortunately, he is one of the dumbest and most reckless quarterbacks with the football - especially in big games. Until he "grows a pair" and stops panicking into mistakes, he will continue to end seasons sitting on his ass crying (see photo above).


4. Jason Garrett has had the least criticism and yet is just as responsible due to his lack of imagination in calling plays. It makes no difference how much talent Dallas has if Jason can't figure out how to use it. In addition, he sucks at halftime adjustments.


5. What in the hell has happened to Dallas Cowboy's special teams? Failure to execute in this area has cost Dallas many big games and will continue to cost them until they get a head coach who will hold them accountable for mistakes. Grandpa Wade is not the answer.

Maybe the Boys will surprise me in 2009, but I think I've seen this movie before...

Don Hewitt - 60 Minutes Obituary

By The Computer Guru
OpenlineATL

I just finished watching the 60 Minutes broadcast this evening. The entire show was about the life and death of Don Hewitt - the creator of 60 Minutes . I am a big fan of the 60 Minutes news magazine and have been for more that three decades.

Don Hewitt practically invented television news as we know it. He lived to the ripe old age of 82 and touched many lives in a positive way. This should have been a time to celebrate the incredible success of 60 Minutes and what television news has become.

Unfortunately, I found myself weeping at just the thought of what television news HAS become. While we morn the passing of Don Hewitt and Walter Cronkite, we must also acknowledge that integrity in news and journalism has scummed to "profit at any cost". Instead of checking our facts and putting the brightest and best on both the writing and the presentation of news, we find the most vacuous and pretty talking heads. Accuracy of facts is no longer a requirement.

"so what if she's a stripper - can she read cue cards or not!?..."

In today's 24 hour news cycle, you don't have to believe what you say - just say it convincingly! FOX "News" has mastered this. The sad part is that many of Americans are simply too jaded or ignorant to understand or care.

RIP Don Hewitt - along with accuracy and integrity in journalism...

Mike Vick - Congratulations and Good Luck!

By The Computer Guru
OpenlineATL

Congratulations Michael Vick - and for the first time in my life, I also have to congratulate the Philidelphia Eagles for doing something I approve of - signing Michael Vick to the chagrin of PETA and other irrational animal lovers out there. Now don't get me wrong - I HATE THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES!

Eagles fans are the absolute dregs of humanity - a collection of the most vile, disgusting, uneducated, ignorant and moronic members of the human species. Unfortunately, I have almost the same level of contempt for PETA - an organization that continues to prove that animal lover extremists are just as crazy an Philadelphia Eagles fans.

So - is this a marriage made in heaven? Is it possible that the crazed fans of the Eagles will meet the crazed PETA extremists for the ultimate confrontation in Philly - a matter vs. anti-matter collision resulting in a gigantic worm hole that consumes all of Philadelphia and PETA as we know it?

One can only dream...

Rick Pitino - How to Have Sex in Public Without Being Noticed

By The Computer Guru

OpenlineATL

I’m sure Rick Pitino is the happiest man alive thanks to Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles, Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings! The NFL bails out a college basketball coach who was involved in one of the biggest and under reported sex scandals in history. I didn’t see that one coming!

The squeaky clean hot blooded Italian Stallion clad in designer suits, Italian dress shoes who calimed to be a devout Roman Catholic did the unthinkable – had sex in a restaurant on a table -without even using a condom. As if that wasn’t bad enough – he gets the woman pregnant and shells out $3,000 for an abortion (he later claimed it as insurance money).

Now that we know Rick is a sexual predator unlikely to change, I wanted to be the first to offer him a book to read before his next sexual conquest (school bus or locker room):

How to Have Sex in Public Without Being Noticed by Marcel Feigel